I love a clean room. Free of clutter. Free of dust. Free of dog hair. A candle's scent filling the clean air. I just rest in the relaxation that a clean room brings. I am horrible, however, at maintaining a clean room. I don't like the time and work that it takes to keep the room clean. So, gradually the clean room gets to a cluttered room to a disaster mess. And, the mess is overwhelming to me.
The same goes inside my head. Last night the stress became overwhelming. The house was messy. There was paperwork to do. Dishes to clean. Closets to organize. Clothes to launder. Errands to run. Lists to be made. And sin issues to be dealt with. As I began to tackle the piles, my mind went into melt down over a sin area that I have been struggling with. I was at wits end wondering why I keep falling in this way. I speak truth to myself. I know how to alter my thoughts, but I still end up here.
Then, in the midst of my laundry, I realized the thing I had been missing. Prayer. I hadn't ever prayed about the situation. Not. Once. Usually, the avenue people go to first, I had completely neglected. I was trying to beat the sin on my own.
I thought over the past weeks. I started with a clean mind - it was on God, quiet times were deep and real (not 15-minute get-bys), my prayer life was consistent (not just at meals), and my attitude was right (not pretend). Slowly, I had stopped maintaining my spiritual life and finally, it came crashing over me.
As I sat down, I confessed my sin. I cleaned out my heart and mind so that I could start over with a clean one. I read through Psalm 51 a few times and prayed those words to God. I prayed for the diligence to maintain my heart - the picking up of the clutter each day by confessing my sin. The chores of dusting and vacuuming by digging into God's Word and praying. Not leaving it to the next day, but making time for it each day. So that in some way I may please God with a sweet aroma.
Sure, a clean room is nice, but a clean heart is peaceful.