Less than 9 months to go

Here it is, a whole month has passed by without a post. Doesn't surprise anyone I am sure.

Two years ago [which seems like a lifetime ago], Hubs and I were on a vacation of a lifetime. I still have not completed that photo book.

The other day, I asked Hubs if he thought I might graduate college in a shorter time period than my mother did. Because of moving and having to take care of us [my brothers and I], she graduated with her degree 18 years after she began. But she did it. He said, "Well, it's already been 10 years. You only have 8 to go." My age shocks me at those moments. But, I still have plenty of time.

My ideal qualifications for our future hometown: within 1 hour of an airport so that traveling to Hawai'i is always a reasonable option. And that we open a Trader Joe's.

This is the time of the year when I seriously regret spending all of my Christmas money. The spring clothes are so tempting and my allotted $20 a month usually gets spent at Starbucks.

Hubs has less than 9 months left of residency. I told him, "I think I am ready for you to be done and for the next stage." He says, "Is that a new thing? I've been ready for the past 20 months."

The tale of the [giant] spider

One Saturday, I was getting a lot done around the house - organizing, cleaning, unpacking [yes, there was is still some of that left]. When I pulled out a storage bin, a giant spider fell to the ground. Not usually afraid of spiders, I leapt out of the way of the giant, extremely fast-crawling spider. It crawled behind the TV and I decided to ignore it for the time being.

While eating some lunch, the beast scurries from under the TV right to the middle of the floor. I may or may not have let out a little scream at this point. Then I went to get a shoe and was going to take care of this problem once and for all. After a good 10 minutes of staring at the thing, I texted Richard:

"Call me."

I might have been a little dramatic, but we talked and discussed using a Tupperware container to keep him in place so that Hubs could take care of it when he got home. I sent a text back to assure him I caught the thing:

Hubs replied: I will bring on the pain to him when I get home.

But, the I got to thinking. What if he escaped in the hours that Hubs spent at school. I thought he could possibly get out under the lid. And then, I would never be able to relax in the basement without wondering if he was going to crawl up my leg. So, I texted back:

He's not going anywhere.

I can assure you. The giant spider is dead.

We need this

All week month I have anticipated this weekend. I will cherish this ONE day off from school and work, since they are few and far between.

Of course there will be housework to catch up on, work to be done, shopping to be completed, and homework to continue, but one whole day has been set aside for a day trip and maybe even completing the Harry Potter movies.

But Labor Day completes the summer. And I am more excited about that than usual. Not only has it been a exhausting summer with oppressive heat, but it has been tiring in many more dimensions. (And I did not even get to the pool once this year!) After Labor Day, cool weather is near. College football is starting (although you wouldn't' know it around here). September is going to bring about routine and order. It will instill discipline and it will encourage good habits, not the lazy ones I have been trapped in. I hope to blog more. Pumpkins will be out and leaves will change to beautiful colors. I'm thinking of a fall party with chili and cinnamon rolls - hopefully that's a thing here.

So September has a lot of expectations placed on it, but really it is a chance to start a new slate after being thrust into so many directions over the past months. I'm looking forward to productive relaxation over the next few days and into the next months.

Oh, and let's not forget about the pumpkin spice lattes.

To Serve or To Be Served

We've been church shopping. Anyone who has done this before knows it can be a trying experience. Anyone who has not done this before, probably should.

It can be isolating. It can be funny. It can be frustrating. And then, once you find the church and decide to make it your home, you have to start that process of getting involved. Which really means putting yourself out there and enduring awkward moments and getting to know people. If moving teaches you anything, it teaches you to be open with people and make friends.

I was reminded of when I first moved to Nebraska and was looking for a church. I would sit in my chair and wait for someone to come talk to me. Week after week. Just waiting for someone to serve me and see that I was alone and I needed a friendly face and a conversation. Then I would be upset that nobody reached out to me. But I made no effort. Even when people did come and talk, I was guarded and held back.

Unfortunately, I think we all do this too often, even when we have been going to a church for years. I have known women who feel alone at their church. They aren't involved. They don't like it. They sit there in their own little bubble and wait for someone to reach out to them. Before long, she is now thinking that people don't like her and that they are saying things about her and that she is unwelcome. And you can see where this can lead.

But that can be our default. It takes work to talk to the new person. It takes work for the new person to talk to the people who already have friends and ministries. It takes work to do more than just talk to someone one time and call them or email them during the week. It all requires us to let go of ourselves and reach out to others.

On Sunday I was visiting a church. I know lots of people there, but it isn't my church and I like to hid in the back on my own. Across the aisle were some people I knew from Nebraska. They were church shopping and this was their first Sunday and even though this wasn't my church, I was the person God put there to welcome them.

So it reminded me. That no matter whether it is my first Sunday or my 100th, I am not here to be served. I am here to serve.

What's really going on

I've been covering the fun and periphery details of our current life. Maybe some of you wonder what is actually going on.

Hubs has begun the next chapter. He leaves at 7:30am and returns around 5:30pm. It's nice that we live so close. I can't imagine having found a place further in the suburbs. It seems to be going well; adjusting smoothly.

I have been at home all that time that he is away. Ten hours alone. I workout, clean, apply for jobs, work, read, do nothing, and more of the same. The job search has been tedious. Lots of resume's and applications, not so much response. A hopeful prospect crumbled last week. So it was back to ground zero. Sometimes I do fine. I keep myself busy and try to be one of those amazing women who can prep for meals, organize, and find tons of things around the house to occupy themselves with or come up with projects to do. [Turns out, I am NOT one of those great women. Bummer.] Sometimes, though, I get lonely, wishing I could go to coffee with a friend. Last week was hard at times. There are still moments when the loneliness washes over me, but it is getting better.

The city is awesome. I really love it here. [If only our friends could move here, life would be perfect.] I feel like there is lots to see and do - and being the adventurous sort - it fits me just fine. The parks are amazing, the stores plentiful, and the convenience is, well, convenient. The only bummer has been that I can't even enjoy most of the shopping. We've got amazing stores here. I mean, I've never lived within 15 minutes of an Anthropologie! Now that I do, I can't even go because I have no money to spend there. Instead I've been trying to figure out which grocery store I like best.

The house is wonderful. I really love it and am so happy with how it is turning out. I dream about adding furniture and artwork. A sectional for the basement, a few prints for the kitchen, all sorts of things for the mantle. But of course, I keep myself away from those stores, too. The house also has a few problems. Ones that mount into a story too confusing to share. We are getting them worked out, slowly. And no matter how it all ends, it will be great when it does just that. End.

We are still searching for a church to make our home. It's hard. The city is so big that a great church might be located an hour away. To find something close, may mean not as great. We continue to search for wisdom in this. We yearn for a church body so we can get involved and meet people. We have met a few, but because of the summer, Bible studies are on breaks and we haven't been able to get involved. We can still use prayer in this area.

But, this week has been better. Its been busier. I had interviews and call backs. And guess what?

I GOT A JOB!

God is so good and I am so excited! I get one more week to enjoy this extended vacation, and then I get to really start having a life again. Conversations with people. Getting out of the house. I'll miss having all this free time, I'm sure, but I've had so much time to prepare and be ready to work again.

So what is really going on is adjustments. Adjustments to a new environment, a new lifestyle, a new everything. If you've prayed for us, thank you. It means so much and will continue to as we keep adjusting.

Finishing up

     just a few of my dear friends

Here's how it goes.

You first get excited about something new. Then you realize how much you will miss everyone here. Then you revel in the time you have left, enjoying each day. Then you stress. You have so much to do and time is running out. After that, you recognize that everything won't get done. And then, you are ready to go. You are sad still. But you are ready to get on wit' it. Then, you start doing the "lasts." Last week. Last day. Last time. People start making plans without you. Because you'll be gone. Then the stress will hit again. This time it is a "get-it-done" mentality because the time is near. The good-byes will come then. Not a moment before. Then you leave. And what you've spent the past 6 months preparing for, will finally be here.

This week is a finishing-up week. Tomorrow will be my last day with my great coworkers. Then I'll have a week of calm before the storm of moving. And I'm still loving every moment.

It's pretty much the same every time. Hubs and I have moved 2 times in the last 5 years and I predict we will move at least 1 more time. This is my 13th move, though. Most of those moves, I remember. And moving teaches you lots of things:

1. To make friends. Quickly.
2. To throw stuff away. You'll still have too much.
3. To love the church body. They are your family.
4. To rely on God. He's there.
5. To love Hubs more. He's there too.

Personal opion. Everyone should move at least once. Not across town. Away. It's awesome. I have friends all over. I have memories. And I've grown in each place. It's as if God has been moving me so that I don't become complacent in my walk with Him.

Here we go...

Happy Day

This afternoon was perfect. The temperature was warm, but not sweat-inducing. The breeze was refreshing, but not enough to knock me over.

Ransom loves to be outside. Even just to sit. And lay. And sniff. Just to be out where the dogs are meant to roam and relax.

So, while I sat and read in the sunshine, Ransom...

Sniffed...

Lounged in the grass...

Tried to catch invisible flies...

And sniffed some more.

Boy was he one happy dog.

Um, spring?

When the temperature rises above 90, its a little much for me. Especially before June July. As a girl with her heart in the northeast, I enjoy a mild summer with temperatures steadying out in the mid-80s.

So, although the warmth has not yet become unbearable, it reminds me of the staggering temperatures to come. Really, the only time that I have enjoyed the heat was when I was on the beach.

And, for the last 3 days of heat I have been dreaming of the soft sand, the salty breeze, and the warm water, I could go for living on the beach, or near the beach. Really,  I could go for being within driving distance of a beach.

But, since that is not foreseen in our future, I could just take a few more weeks of spring. In other words, temperatures in the 70s.

From our front porch

I took this picture from our front porch this morning. Two things might surprise you:

1. It's green in Kansas.

2. Part of the road is covered in water.

Water is bubbling from the ground at a pretty good rate (it is hard to see in the picture, but it is there). On closer examination during our morning walk I have concluded that this might be a sewage line that has broken due to the gross color of the water and the smell.

Sewage + forecasted 97 degree day = smelly mess

Funny thing is, everybody seems to just be looking at the mess but not doing anything. Not that I can blame them, I haven't the slightest clue how you would begin to stop something like this. Kind of like the BP gas leak last year. Kind of. Okay, maybe nothing like the gas leak.

Anyway, it goes quite a bit further down the cross-street. Which happens to be where Hubs' office is. Hopefully they figure it out soon.

Not what you want to hear when you're out walking in the dark

Yesterday Ransom and I took a walk at about 5:30. It was still dark out, but you could see the sun beginning to rise. We got no more than a block when we were stopped by a man delivering newspapers.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that a buddy of mine told me there is a guy walking the streets with a black ski mask. He has a stun gun and he is raping people."

Thoughts immediately going through my head: this man has a stocking hat on, and being a fan of shows like Criminal Minds, I am very aware that he could pull the mask down and be the very man he is describing. And now, since I've seen his face, he'll have to kill me when its all over. This man's raping people, or just women? Why does he keep looking down at Ransom? Seriously. I bet its him. Oh good, there is another man walking down the street walking his dog. He can't do anything to me now.

"I don't mean to scare you or anything..."

I jump back to the conversation, "Oh no worries. Thanks for the heads-up!"

And I quickly continue on my walk. Walking slightly faster than normal and well aware of any noises.

When I return home to the front door open, I start freaking a little. But, the coast was clear. And I had my nightmare about the situation last night so hopefully it is out of my system. I think I might take my walks in the daylight for a few weeks though.

I've always wondered what Ransom would do if my safety was threatened. And the day before this strange conversation, we came home after the house was being shown and Ransom went on high alert. He smelled/knew something wasn't right. Someone had been in our house that he was not familiar with. He growled and barked and literally searched every room for the stranger.

Makes me think I'm a little safer with Ransom beside me.

Why Jerusalem? Why Me?

It was only a month ago that we were in the midst of Israel. Feels like 2 years ago right now. As usual, I fell in love with our vacation spot, but in a different way.

Hawai'i felt like the most beautiful place on earth. The mountains are the calmest place. Other places have had similar attractions to me, however Israel's is different. It attracts me because the Savior of my soul, the Lord of my life, the God of the world lived there. And as there were beautiful aspects to the land and fun sights, I miss Israel and yearn to be there because I learned so much about God while I was there. One of my favorite things was living inside Old Jerusalem's city walls for 3 days and becoming so familiar with the streets and area.

One of the main questions that filled my mind was, "Why Jerusalem?" We have songs like "The Holy City" that make it seem so great and important. And for centuries millennia people have sought control of this one place - but why? As one man put it - this is where the Divine came to live among the mundane.

Jehovah chose to live among his people in Jerusalem and that is the reason Jerusalem is so special. He could have chosen anywhere - really, He didn't have to chose to live among us at all. Mundane man rejected Him. He came to live among them anyway, and provided a way to atone for sins through animal sacrifice. These sacrifices could never pay the price for offended a Holy God, though. So, He sent His Son to live among the mundane men, becoming one himself.

He lived a blameless life. Innocent. He died a unworthy death. A death that His Father allowed because he loved me - a mundane human. A death that separated Jesus from his Father from the first time ever. A relationship that had been pure from eternity past was completely broken as Jesus died carrying all of our sins, because there was no other way for man to be reconciled to God.

How do I know that Jesus' death was enough to pay the price? Because of the empty tomb. He conquered death. He defeated sin. And He lives.

Before I knew Christ, I was nothing special. I was ordinary person headed to Hell, trusting in myself to find the right way. Mundane. Because Christ saved me, I can have joy and hope and peace.

Because God has come to live in the mundane.

Sleeping is over-rated

For the last few days I have been unable to sleep. I get a few hours here and there, but it is constantly interrupted by tossing and turning, by ridiculous dreams, and by just plain being awake!

At first I thought it was the Indian recipe I made. It was a new one and guessed it was the cause of a restless night. But, the saga has continued and last night I went to bed not-tired. And I woke up multiple times during the night, not-tired. And I woke up this morning, not-tired.

What in the world? I have always been one of those sleep-anywhere type people. I have been know to fall asleep in the middle of a conversation at our friend's house. I usually can't stay awake and now it is the opposite.

There is a lot going on in our life, but I really can't narrow it down to why I am not tired when it is time to go to bed.

Therefore tomorrow begins: Operation Wear-Yourself-Out.

It will begin at 5:30 with an hour-long yoga class. Followed by a shower and a full day of working. Then heading straight to the gym for a good cardio workout. Make dinner in the evening and put clean sheets on the bed. Watch The Biggest Loser. Then, a hot shower to end the day and [hopefully] sink into a clean bed and into a deep sleep.

The man who lives in my basement

There is a man living in our basement. He hears me wake up each morning to walk the dog. While I'm gone, he sneaks out and leaves. Then he comes back sometime the next evening.

Of course, this isn't true. But every morning I think that someone is down there. We don't use the living space and it is this dark hallway that just beckons paranoia. I can't don't even venture down there without Ransom going first.

It doesn't help that every morning I hear random noises. Whether creaks or pops or water running. This morning it was a bang on the thing that carries heat to us through the vent - what is that called? It also doesn't help that I found Ransom down there growling one time. And he never growls.

So, I've just come to accept that there is someone down there who doesn't bother us as long as we don't bother him.

I just hope that I don't feel this way about our basement in St. Louis, because we will be using the living space there. I suppose regularly using and getting cozy the basement will help with the fear, but I'm still thankful that my shadow will be happy to accompany me wherever I go.

Getting over the bump

You would think I would be blogging up a storm. I have pictures from Israel to share and stories to tell. I have a house we are getting ready to buy. There is a lot going on and I should be sharing it all with you. But I don't have the words.

Instead, I found myself in this daze; frozen while life kept going. I think I may have woke up today though, and am back among the living. Ready for the next thing.

It was fixed [mainly] by coffee dates with my best friends. It was refreshing to hear about their lives and laugh and talk with them. I rarely let myself think that in a few months we will be 7 hours apart. [What will I do?]

No matter how thick the mud that my mind and heart work through, I am continually thankful for 2 things. My God who allows me to rest contentedly in His plan and my husband who I love more and more each day.

Next: a series of posts on our trip. I hope you enjoy them.

Again

I watched this again. You should too.

Smarts

There are a lot of really smart people in the world, but not all of them can dumb-it-down in an understandable way.

I used to think my science teacher was the smartest person I knew. He knew all the answers and had great ways of helping us understand. Well, Mr. Best, you have been beat.



Dr. Bookman's resume speaks for itself - found on his website, http://www.bookmanministries.com/. He is one of those people that you can listen to and not realize how much time has passed. He is intriguing, he is interesting, and his life is completely invested in what he teaches - the Word of God.

Dr. Bookman has been to our church a few times and is coming again this summer. Last year he taught on the Passion Week, during the Passion Week. What an amazing time it was! I understood Easter more fully than ever before. Hubs and I also listened to him on a recent road trip. It was completely captivating to sit and listen as he taught on the Life of Christ.

The most crazy part of Dr. Bookman's teaching is the rabbit trails he finds himself on. Appropriately, his blog is entitled, the rabbit train (http://www.therabbittrail.wordpress.com/). There is so much knowledge in his brain that he gets taken to different topics along the way in a desire for you to understand what he does. Amazingly, he always finds himself back to where he started and can keep us tracking with him the entire time. That is one gifted teacher.

I've been blessed enough to work with Dr. Bookman over the past few months and I am excited to listen to him again very soon. He is truly the smartest person I've ever known. But it isn't just smarts, it is truth that he believes with all his heart. And that's what is so cool.


If you ever get the opportunity to hear Dr. Bookman, do it. Seriously.

My Week

I baked brownies. They were hard as rocks. I baked more brownies. They burnt. I went to small group without treats, 30 minutes late, fighting back tears the entire way.

Hubs cleaned the kitchen.

We found a house in St. Louis. It's cute and small and a good distance from the school. It's in a safer area and very close to some great trails. I'm thrilled and praying all the details work out.

I completely forgot to go to worship team practice. Didn't remember until 10:00 am the next day.

I realized that finding a new job is a very close reality. Makes me sad to leave the one I have.

Heard from a good friend. It was so great to read her words and be encouraged.

Watched puppies being born! More on this in a later post, including video for the not-so-faint-of-heart.

1 Millions Trips to the Store - update

The beef broth was sitting right in front of my face in the cupboard the whole time. Now I'm really annoyed.

1 Million Trips to the Store

On Monday, I made a grocery list. I planned my meals. I knew exactly what was needed. Although all the items were crossed off when I returned home, I have been to the grocery store more than ever this week.

Tuesday afternoon. I rush home from work to start the chicken marinating for Chicken Makhani. No garlic. I decide to just go without the garlic and sprinkle some not nearly as good garlic powder in. But wait, I also have no limes. So, I grab my keys and shove the dog in the car to get these [2] items.

Home again. Make the marinade. Hours later, Hubs comes home. I remember I had promised him I would pick up some medicine for his cold. Back to the car, Ransom and I head to the store.

Home again. Two minutes later I start supper and realize I don't have tomato sauce or diced tomatoes. Ransom and I get back. into. the. car. and go to the store for the third time that night.

Thursday afternoon. I need to make 2 dozen cranberry orange scones but notice the orange juice is gone. I go to the grocery store afterwork. Then, rush home to start the [pioneer woman's] pot roast. And realize I have no beef stock, which I KNOW I bought. Ransom is happy to tag along again to the store. On the way I wonder if the beef stock is in Hubs's truck, since I used his truck on Monday but don't have keys so just head straight to the store.

Home again. No powdered sugar for the glaze on the scones. Determined NOT to visit the store again, I find a friend that is willing to lend me 1/2 a cup and bring it to Bible study that night. Study gets cancelled, but I am still not willing to take myself back to the store. So Hubs runs the errand for me.

And, I'm pretty sure I have to go to the store again today.

[Sigh.]

Let the randomness begin

I have very carefully been spending my Christmas money. This is the main gift I got from everyone and it is nearly half gone. I want to be very smart in spending it because it is gone so fast. A few more things need to be bought before Israel and I am still researching and waiting for the best deals. But it will be so sad when it is all gone.

Oh, and if you were wondering if the mideast turmoil has change our trip plans, it hasn't. We are still just as excited as ever!

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I do sometimes wonder if anyone reads this blog anymore. Mostly because the quality of my posts have gone down the drain. I do realize that. But also because I rarely get any comments, at least online. I get lots of face-to-face comments from people I never knew were reading.

So all of you who still keep up with this. Thank you. Hopefully our life will get more exciting and provide me with more material.

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I think we need another dog. I have good reasons.

1. Hubs and I will both be gone most of the day in St. Louis. When we get home, the pups will be ready to play and what better way to wear him out than having another pups?

2. Hubs and I can walk in the mornings together, each with a dog.

3. Because they are just so cute.

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We are house searching. What an emotional experience - and we haven't even seen a house in person yet! When I find one I like, it is usually already in the process of being bought. Or, it is in a neighborhood with a high crime rate. Or something else will come up. Now that we have found the neighborhoods that we do want to live in, it is exciting to think about the houses on our list. We'll keep you updated.

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