Friends, I've alluded to our situation many times, but haven't given all the details. Because there are too many. Because the details are comically depressing. Because I keep thinking they will all fall into place and then I can tell the crazy story of our life. Because they raise our blood pressure. Because there is nothing you can say that we haven't said or anyone else hasn't said.
When we start down a path, thinking this is the direction we should go, we wait to tell people. Once we tell people, they begin to think that plan will happen. Then they tell people and soon our family, friends and acquaintances all are excited about our new plan. Then, something happens that ruins the entire plan and we are back at the beginning.
So, we don't get as excited in the beginning. We cautiously tell people the direction we are headed. And every time we have gotten to the point of being ready to take the plunge and as we jump, something grabs us and keeps us from getting into the pool.
I didn't think that would happen this time. But it seems to have done just that. And so, we are left wondering what is going on. What is the Lord doing? Will this ever end? Now what?
You can't imagine the thoughts, emotional highs and lows, stress and anxiety that has come to our lives. And, each time another situation comes up, we find out if our faith is true. How are we going to respond to these circumstances. How are we going to represent Christ? How are we going to show our trust in God's providence?
You may have heard people say, "God won't give you more than you can bear." That's ridiculous. Besides it taking 1 Corinthians 10:13 completely out of context, it also doesn't match up with the whole of scripture. Of course, God will give us more than we can bear so that we learn to lean on him for everything. If you could bear everything without Christ, then what is the reason for him?
So it is okay that we are overwhelmed and don't always feel like we can handle our situation. Christ was overwhelmed in the garden before He died. The psalmists are continually overwhelmed. So we follow the Lord's example and we go to God for our strength. We find He is faithful in the midst of whatever is in our life. We [hopefully] learn to lean on Him more than ever before. We continue on each day mindful that our life is about His glory and not our own.
Our days are tough right now. Maybe not always on the outside, but in the quiet moments while we are driving or at home, and in our minds, we struggle. Sometimes we have no idea what we should do. We are overwhelmed.
I pray earnestly that this time in our life will come to an end. But I also pray that we would both be faithful each day, no matter what. That we will find joy in knowing Christ above all else, because knowing Him is a treasure far beyond all else.