Monday, November 9, 2009

The Big Sis

I have two brothers, both younger; which makes me the Big Sister. And, as a big sister, I had to develop traits and skills that allowed me to survive life in the basement.

As most older sisters, I was am bossy. I have always, and still sometimes, feel that it is my job to tell others what to do. When left alone, I assumed the "boss" role with excitement. My brothers, however, seemed to have trouble accepting my leadership position. Usually their response was, "You're not the boss of me, Feather!" Physical force, yelling, and phone calls to mom usually followed. I still can be bossy today - especially when placed in some sort of planning committee or group.

Opinionated would be another necessary skill of a big sister. One that I also embraced fully. Like, when my brother wanted to play the tuba, I had a strong argument against him (mainly for my sleeping benefit). Or, when my brother was deciding between cross-country and soccer, I also tried to influence the process. Whatever is going on in their lives, they know to count on me to speak my thoughts. Actually, everyone can expect me to share my thoughts but usually I do wait until asked.

I also have to fix things. I feel like everything must be fixed and I must be the one to fix it in the way that I think it should be fixed. Little brothers don't always appreciate the meddling, but I will always want to do it. I hate it when things aren't fixed and always work to fix everyone's problems.

Probably the trait that has carried on the strongest and the one that I cherish the most, however, is an overwhelming desire to make sure everything goes just perfect for my brothers. I want them to be happy, successful, doing everything right, and walking with God. If something is wrong in either of my brother's lives, whether small or large, I feel it just like it was my own. I agonize. I worry. I pray. And when things are going well for my brothers, I feel it just like it was my own. I smile. I rejoice. I pray.

Whether they are 10 and 8 or 22 and 20, I'm the one who is supposed to look after my little bros; and I always will.

Are you a big or little sibling? How has it influenced your life?


Laura said...

i agree! being a big sister is hard work. i totally feel like it's my job to fix things, be in charge and make sure everything is right for my siblings. and if it's not all going smoothly, i have to worry and be distraught about it until i figure out how i can help. and i've noticed this always makes me in charge of organizing christmas gifts, etc for our parents. i sorta figured that by the time we were all in our 20s maybe i wouldn't always have to be in charge. :) but i would probably take over anyhow!
my biggest challenge is to trust God with their lives because He's in charge, not me!

Audrey said...

coming from this big sis, i am a big fixer but I've learned I can't fix everything for the ones I love, ( we don't grow as much when all goes our way anyway) it's not my burden, I can pray, advise when asked and sometimes not asked ;) I think lives are meant to have loose ends and be less than perfect, we will never achieve perfect planet aligning on earth.. that's what I've learned and it's freeing. :) but yes, protective, bossy opinionated all of the above, and trying to knock of the weaknesses that accompany all gifts is a challenge! :) greatest strength- greatest weakness.
you're sorry you asked for feedback now aren't you??? :)

Jake said...

You're just the best big sister ever!! I can always count on you for sure

The Feather Files said...

great thoughts and good reminders. Thanks!