Not Finding Out {good or not so good}

Eight Weeks Old

When I found out I was pregnant, I wrestled with whether or not we should find out the gender or not at our ultrasound. I had always thought it would be fun to not know, but at that point in our life we really didn't know anything about our immediate future - where we would be living, where Hubs would be working, if we would start or buy a practice, etc - so it sounded nice to at least be able to plan one aspect of life.

I'm sure most of you that know Hubs think he is the Type A personality of the family, however I tend to be WAY more Type A. I love to plan things from our future, to a vacation, to a simple dinner party. So, when Hubs said he didn't want to find out, it was probably harder for me than him. But, I agreed and it was decided.

I know it isn't for everyone, but I really loved the experience of not knowing. So if you are ever considering either way, here are my thoughts about it:

• After our 22 week ultrasound, I regretted not finding out. I mean, as a mother, shouldn't you want to know every bit of information about your child that you can? After a day of that, however, I was fine. That one day was the hardest it ever got to not know the gender.
• One of my concerns was that I originally wanted our first child to be a boy, and I didn't want to be disappointed if it was a girl. Guess what - I wasn't disappointed at all.
• Because I love to plan and I love to shop, knowing the gender of our baby would have tempted me to spend a lot of money getting her room ready and getting adorable Sperrys and Toms from Zulily. Instead, we spent our money on wiser purchases like a crib and dresser.
• I was worried that our poor child would only be dressed in neutral clothing. But, people were oh so generous and brought us adorable girl clothes in the hospital and I even had a shower after Samantha was born, which, by the way, makes showers even more fun for the attendees!
• It was fun to tell random strangers that I didn't know what I was having. It's not the mainstream thing to do, and I think that is why I liked it so much. People either responded with, "Good for you," or "I could never do that."
• I'm sure there is a different type of anticipation during labor when you know the gender, but the anticipation for us was two fold - we wanted to meet our child and we also wanted to know if it was a boy or girl! When it was almost time, my doctor asked us to guess what it was. Hubs guessed boy and I guessed girl. I think all the nurses and doctors (all 8 of them that were in the room) had a little more fun, too, because they wondered what it would be!
• It was fun and special to have Richard tell me it was a girl after she was born.

Ultimately, I think either way it is a surprise and it depends on the couple as to whether or not they should find out. But, if anyone were to ask me whether they should or not, I'd say to do it at least once. For our time in life, it was a really good thing to not find out. We had a lot of other things occupying our mind, so I didn't have to stress about having the room ready or having cute clothes (that all came after she was here).

If we have another child, will we do it the same way? I honestly have no idea!