Walmart: A place to ruin joy

Rarely do I shop at Walmart. Not necessarily because I have a particular vendetta against the place, but because I don't feel like it is worth the trip. And after today's trip, I am once again drawn to the same conclusion.

It began as I drove into the parking lot. I took the first spot I came to. Of course there was a cart trapped between my car and another from the lazy, selfish person who had just pulled out of the spot. I grab the cart to take it inside so that cars are not needlessly banged up by other's lack of respect for mankind. To make it even worse, as I am walking towards the store a man takes his cart and doesn't just place it near someone's car; no, he gives it a small shove in the general direction and walks away, disregarding where the cart actually ends up. I work on grabbing his cart, too; mainly out of anger. Then I start walking with two carts towards the store. This same man nearly runs me over trying to get around me and his cart. This is all that was necessary to ruin the trip. Honestly, just take a short trip to Walmart to remind you how utterly depraved mankind is and how desperately we need a Savior. And I was reminded of this before I even stepped into the store.

(If you are one of these lazy people who can't seem to return your carts to the proper spot, please think on this. I cannot think of a valid excuse, besides an armed gunman chasing you, for not returning your cart. Nothing in your life can be so important that you can't take 2 extra minutes - if that - to be a responsible shopper and human.)

I drop the carts off, because I didn't actually need one, and start looking for my items. The store is packed with people buying things they don't need, which is another reason I don't like shopping there. I ALWAYS end up with items that aren't needed, but are so cheap that I buy them. And our Walmart seems to have a wider selection of food items, which means I end up buying "new" pre-packaged things that weren't on my list and aren't any good for me. Anyway, I gather the few items I need (including two fleece throws for only $5 - cheap toys for Ransom.)

The fellow customers aren't necessariliy happy either. I mean, don't get in their way. Because you may just cramp their style. And its all about them, you know.

By the checkout lines I am hot (temperature-wise), which makes my crabbyness sky-rocket to new levels. Walmart was partially redeemed by a very friendly cashier, but my mood was already set. And then, she put my 5 items in 3 different plastic bags, when I would have preferred everything to be smushed into 1. I hastily re-sacked them and threw the wasted bags into the recycle bin, you know, to prove a point.

I got in my car and rolled down the windows to cool off. Then, I got a grip on my attitude and realized I act no different than the people that I let irritate me. Keeping it inside didn't hide it from God. Sickened, I confessed my lack of love for others.

All that said, it might be a while before I go back.

News Flash - what you should not ask

There is an issue of clarification that I feel must be brought to attention. It may well be considered a personal pet-peeve, I also think there is merit to really thinking through what we ask other people, particularly women of “child-bearing age.” It boils down to two main things.

1.     Women, basically between 20 and 35, can state, “I’m not feeling well,” without automatically being pregnant. We could have eaten something, we could have a stomach sickness, we could just have constipation and prefer to not shout it to the whole world. But just because we may tell you, “Yeah, I haven’t been feeling very well,” does not give you the cue to ask the dreaded question, “Are you pregnant,” or the statement, “Maybe you are pregnant.”

In fact, we can also have hot flashes and not be pregnant. We can have crazy dreams, and not be pregnant. Our “mammaries” can ache, and not be pregnant. We can even get sick in the morning and feel better in the afternoon – and NOT be pregnant.

2.     Women can also crave certain foods and still be completely childless. No matter if we want Mexican for breakfast or ice cream at midnight – the question of pregnancy should not come up. Pregnancy is not a pre-requisite for desiring a certain food!

I’ve been in my child-bearing years for a while now, and since I have been married (the past 4 years), I have been asked whether or suggested that I was pregnant hundreds of times – I wouldn’t even doubt thousands. It. Drives. Me. Basserk. And so, I wanted to give you some practical reasons why a) it is none of your business if someone is pregnant and b) you should not ask someone if they are pregnant.

Saying, “maybe your pregnant” can be insulting. In most cases a woman knows her body and how it functions pretty well. If she was pregnant or if it was a possibility, don’t you think she would have explored that option already? She doesn’t need random outsiders to remind her that each month a very identifiable check comes around to tell her whether she is or is not pregnant.

Asking, “are you pregnant” can be hurtful. You are not inside this woman’s brain and you may not know that she wants to be pregnant so bad, but it just isn’t happening. Asking her can remind her of that fact and make a simple comment become painful.

Being asked if you are pregnant can be annoying. Really? Why does every conversation have to revolve around pregnancy? Especially to the woman who really wants children right now, it would be great to be cared for as a woman and friend, and not just seem like everyone is waiting for you to have children before they can have a real relationship with you.

And, asking, “Are you pregnant” can simply cause someone to lie. So maybe I am pregnant, but I’m not ready for the whole world to know. Don’t make me have to lie to you and then come back and ask forgiveness later. Don’t put me in a hard place where I choose to sin or tell news that I am waiting to share.

You know what? If a friend says she isn't feeling well, why don't you ask her if there is a way you can make her day easier? Take her a cup of tea, or even a meal! Rarely do we get asked something like that. Usually we get asked if we are pregnant, or if "so-and-so" is pregnant. I know pregnancy seems like fun, light-hearted inquiry at times, but I just don't believe it is appropriate or the loving response we could have.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

Seriously? It's a fish.

So, I came up with this super-cool idea for our church carnival. A booth with glass bowls. The kids try to get a ping pong ball into the glass jars. If they get one in, they win....a goldfish! We were going to be the talk of the carnival. I was so excited...and I got Hubs excited, too.

I went to Petco today to see if they could make sure to have 100 goldfish in stock next Wednesday so I could pick them up. As I was talking to the salesman, he asked...

"These are going to be used for humane purposes, right?"

"Uh, yeah," I chuckled.

"Ok. Sorry, but we just have to ask that to make sure you aren't going to give them away as prizes or anything."

Wait. What? How is that inhumane? I remained silent; I didn't want to give myself away. Instead, I came home to investigate that statement further. Sure enough, it is widely considered inhumane to give out goldfish as prizes - it is even illegal in some countries...and it is possible that some US cities prohibit it.

Okay, so finding 100 goldfish in our town presented an issue. Finding 100 glass jars presented an even bigger issue. But never did I forsee this issue. On one website I read,


"My little cousin’s elementary is giving away goldfish at a school carnival Friday. I’m outraged. I wrote to PETA but was wondering if it was illegal so I could try to stop them in time? I know those little brats are going to use them as water balloons and that most of them aren’t going to go out and buy the proper equipment or food to care for them. It’s horrible!"


Excuse me? Not only are we concerned for the life of a goldfish, but we prefer goldfish over school children ("brats"). Do you see something wrong here?


Now, you all know that I have Pups. And furthermore, you know that I love him, that I am completely attached, and that both Hubs and I would do a lot to keep him alive and happy. He has become part of our family and you really don't understand that until you actually have a dog. But never. ever. would I put him above a human life. Ever. Ever.


I guess what bothers me about this is that it is extreme. I mean, I love animals; but I am totally cool with hunting deer because they are over-populated. I believe in protecting animals; but I am definitely not going to be a vegetarian. I believe God tells us to take care of animals; but we have plenty of goldfish in the world and if a few more get flushed down the toilet...so be it.


But instead of just taking care of animals to a reasonable degree, we protect them more than we protect unborn children. We lash out against those killing animals for food; but yet let crazy people beat children. We worry about the population of unwanted pets in the pound; but let the orphans and foster care children go unnoticed.


But, back to the carnival. I guess the goldfish idea is out. I have 1 week to come up with something equally as cool; yet not involving animals.


Any ideas?

Get rid of the 'tude

As a teen, my parents were always telling me I had an attitude and that I needed to "get rid of it right now." Yeah right. I always thought, Well, I didn't have an attitude, but now that you said that I sure do.

As an adult, that attitude still creeps up sometimes often. I am unkind, I don't like to socialize, I say things I will regret, and "no body understands me." The 'tude can develop anywhere, anytime but usually when something doesn't go as I want or when people don't do what I think they should.

Then, I begin to justify it with popular phrases like: But, this is how I feel, so others can just deal with it. I'm just thinking about what is right for me. I deserve something better. I just don't feel like it today. It doesn't matter how I respond to others; I'm not having a good day.

Wait a minute. Isn't this what the world says is good and right? "Do what is right for yourself." Most talk show hosts will encourage this whether refering to building a career or getting a divorce. That can't be the wrong attitude, can it?

As I was feeling sorry for myself this weekend and developing the 'tude (multiple times, by the way), I realized how self-absorbed I can be. And contrary to the popular advice, it isn't and shouldn't be all about me. And, I'm not just talking about self-pity here; the 'tude mostly presents itself when I am thinking great and wonderful thoughts about me, myself, and I.

Now, there are definitely times that we aren't having a good day, right? That still does not mean we should develope an attitude and not treat others kindly. But guess what? Thinking selfishly about ourselves, and then acting in that manner is super easy because it's natural. It's sinful.

What's the Bible's solution for getting rid of the 'tude? Exactly opposite to the world's advice: to just quit thinking about yourself so much and think of others.

Rom. 12:10, 16 - Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

Phil. 2:3-4 - Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Gal. 5:19-21 - Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are...jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions...of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

So, let's all do the thing that doesn't come naturally. Next time you feel the 'tude coming on (because I know I am not the only person out there that suffers this illness), confess your selfishness and conciously think of someone else in a loving, kind manner. Even take the next step and do something for someone else. It won't feel natural at first and you may want to go back to focusing on you, but read these, and other, verses.

Let's get rid of the 'tude!

The Love of Books and the Hate of Untruth

I love books. Fiction & Non-Fiction. Classics & Contemporary. There is just something about a book that lures me.

The most dangerous place for me to be is in a bookstore with no spending limit. I hope I someday have a room in my house that is wall-to-wall, ceiling-to-floor filled with books. The room will have huge picture windows and over-sized furniture for reading pleasure.

However, I do not love all books and I think some people write, well I'll just say it, crap. For instance, if I am reading a novel with a lot of cussing or intimate scenes, I stop reading and if I purchased the book, I put it in the trash.

I also believe books can be deceiving, most especially Christian non-fiction. The cover can look beautiful. It can entice you to buy, make you think its content will be worth the money, and even create a false sense of trust in the author. You may think, "It is in the Christian aisle or bookstore, so it can't be all bad." And, you may be right. But, don't you want the book to be all good so that you don't have to pick out the truths from the half-truths?

More than once I have stood in the local Christian bookstore appalled by what they are selling, but even more appalled by what they are NOT selling. I have been known to tear-up in the aisle in both anger and sadness as I think of how authors are deceiving people and, most of all, offending God. It makes my heart hurt.

I have had the wonderful privilege of growing up in a home that taught me to validate everything I read and hear with what the Bible says because the Bible is the authority and Word of God. Therefore, I have a spectrum of authors and preachers that I feel comfortable reading and here's why: these authors start with the Bible and end with the Bible. They merely explain what it is saying and challenge me to live thus.

There are many authors out there that write good things, but subtly in the text are truths that do not completely align with God's Word. What a scary thing!

And that, my friends, is why I enjoy Elizabeth George (more in a future post). She does not try to appeal to women by using feelings and emotions. She knows how women think; how women struggle; and how women react. She knows what the Bible says about how we are called to live. She takes those truths and challenges women to apply them to their lives and live godly.

All that to say, be careful what you read and hear. Match everything up to what God has written in His word.

The Preacher sought to find acceptable words; and what was written was upright—words of truth. The words of the wise are like goads, and the words of scholars are like well-driven nails, given by one Shepherd. And further, my son, be admonished by these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh.

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.
For God will bring every work into judgment, including every secret thing, whether good or evil.
Ecclesiastes 12:10-14

And, from the final chapter of the Bible:

For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Revelation 22:18-19

Um, yeah, you just called me...

You see that you missed a call on your cell phone. The number is not one that you recognize and the caller did not leave a voicemail. You:

a) quickly call the number back to see who called..
b) figure the caller would have left a voicemail (or will call back) if he/she was trying to contact you. You also realize it may have been a wrong number, so don't worry too much about it

Which one are you?

I answer the company at phone at work. We don't get many calls because most employees have a direct line. This morning, I would say I have answered the phone maybe 6 times in the past 2.5 hours. Three times it was a recorded sales call. One time it was an actual client call. And, 2 times I heard this, "Um, yeah, you just called me."

Me: Actually, this is a multi-line phone and I didn't just call. Do you know anyone that works here.
Caller: Uh, what company is this?
Me: ********* **********
Caller: I don't think so, unless Joe Schmoe works there.
Me: Nope, sorry.
Caller: Well, I guess they'll call back...
Me: Yeah, sorry. Bye.

I receive calls such as this all the time. Sometimes I am patient and kind, but sometimes I am annoyed and frustrated.

What erks me the most is the rude way in which they announce that I called them, as if it is a crime for an unknown number to appear on their caller-id. You wouldn't believe it, but some people get very upset that I cannot tell them who might have called. I wonder if it just eats at them all day long.

So, if you are one of those people that just has to know exactly who and why a person called your phone, keep these things in mind (for the sanity of all phone-answers out there):
1. there are nice ways to phrase the question. Be friendly and inquiring-not rude and demanding.
2. it may have been a wrong number. Be prepared to explain that you were just making sure it wasn't something else.
3. the person who answers the phone, may not have been the individual who called. Be friendly and understanding.

Personally, I never call the phone number back. They will call back if they need to talk to me.

The Dream of Higher Education

There was a time when college was for the elite, only those who had enough money and prestige were privileged enough to go. Then, when those people graduated they made all the money and their children could go to college and the trend continued.

Hmm, have you looked at the cost for college here lately??? It seems to me that universities are doing more to prevent students from attending their school than promoting.

I understand that everything from our groceries to our tires to our clothes are going up in price due to gas sky-rocketting, and I won't even touch that conversation, but education??? Seriously.

I attended the University of Nebraska as an out-of-state student from 2004-2006. At that time tuition was $448/credit hour, whereas in-state tuition was around the $150/credit hour mark. OUCH, is right! Today, according to the UNL website, tuition (2007-2008 year) for out-of-state students was $503/credit hour and in-state was $169.50/credit hour. How come out-of-state went up $55 and in-state only went up about $20? Why discourage people from coming to Nebraska? Don't we want people to come here? Don't you think that people that come to college here, might in fact end up living here? If an out-of-state student took 15 hours each semester, the bill for TUITION ONLY comes to $15,090. Add on a butt-load of fees and you are at $17K easy. Oh but wait, you have to live somewhere, eat something, and buy books. Yep, I'm pretty sure that will keep most average students away from attending the University of Nebraska,or any other 4-year college for that matter. I can't understand why enrollment continues going down each year, can you (please detect the sarcasm in that sentence).

And, I was only speaking of out-of-state students, but in-state tuition isn't much better. It is sad to see that students have to struggle to go to college where they want so they can do what they want. It is also a lot of pressure on an 18 year old to decide to take out at least 4 years of loans. I am wondering what the statistics are saying about community college enrollment. I wouldn't be surprised if it is rising, but I am going to leave my soapbox on how great JuCo's are for another day.

Obviously, it is not bad to spend money on education. In fact, it is necessary. It is not bad to go to a 4-year school directly out of high school. In fact many life changing memories and experiences will happen. It is not bad to spend money for a master's, doctorate, or whatever degree you want. I just wish it could be more accessible to everyone.